I’ve been sleeping too much lately. Spending too much time in dream land and not enough time in reality. The sun seems too bright even though the days are grey. Things feel kind of dull and numb, and I miss my bicycle a lot. I wish I had a plan.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to help the world with art. I believe that it can heal but then I get so scared in the face of a giant blank canvas. Despite everything, there is a part of me that actively avoids creativity, because when it comes out of me it is dark, and morbid and sometimes frightening. And I am afraid that it appears to be melodramatic, self-absorbed, cliché. So I try to hold it in my guts. What a waste of energy, psychic drain, keeping me in my bed twisting around the sheets and dreaming strange things.

I think a tattoo will help. I got nothin’.


About heartroot

i like: pugs, cuddles, plants, herbs, tea, art, slasher movies, cultural theory, feminist theory, zombies, cupcakes, bike riding, swimming in the ocean.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s